Stan (singing): Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and…
Abel (interrupts): Dude, shut the hell up! I’m trying to watch something. Besides, that song is really gay.
Stan: Well, screw you ‘mister I listen to Sigur Rós so others think I’m smart’!
Abel: No, I listen to it because I like M-U-S-I-C, unlike some people. Anyway, didn’t I tell you to shut up?
Stan: You’re no fun, what are you watching anyway?
Abel: It’s a new British sketch show called “Little Castlevania”. It seemed funny on the ads. Now will you shut up?
Stan: Sure, whatever…
(Stan sits next to Abel and on the TV you see a character ramble: “So this werewolf is all like ‘woof woof this, woof woof that’, so I tell him ‘sorry mate, you’re barking at the wrong tree’)
Stan: Wow, isn’t that racist…
Abel: What?
Stan: What do you mean by what?! Didn’t you just saw the same thing I did? That’s pure racism!
Abel: Dude, it’s a freakin’ TV show.
Stan: Sure, that’s what they said about slavery.
Abel (completely puzzled): What? Seriously now, it’s just a stupid TV show, don’t give it so much credit.
Stan: No! No way! I’m tired of all this racist crap I have to deal with everyday. Everyday I hear jokes about how we all look and act the same and I’m usually treated awfully just because I have fur! For crying out loud, there are scientific studies out there that state that our basic DNA is the same… Freakin’ scientific studies! (Starts venting)
Abel: Are you done? Cus I have all night…
Stan: Sorry man, I just get really pissed off sometimes.
Abel: It’s ok, I know exactly what you need. Let me just call Carl and we’re off to the bars. What you say ‘bout that?
Stan: Sounds good, better than watching this racist crap!
Abel: Are you going to start again?
(Abel calls their friend and they settle to meet at the “Drunken Lycan”)
Carl: Yo yo my peeps!
Stan: That’s very denigrating to my people!
Carl: What?!
Abel: You know Stan, you’re really starting to get on my nerves. Just chill out man, we’re here to have fun and get some ladies. Am I right?
Carl: Hell, yeah!
Stan: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Where’s the booze?
Carl: Hey barman! Three beers ASAP, we’re de-hydrating here!
Barman: Right away.
Carl: So Abel, have you scoped out any chicks worth the time?
Abel: Not really, seems like a weak night to me.
Carl: What about you, Stan?
Stan: Meh, I don’t really care. This little bottle here is all the company I need.
Carl: Erm…ok… you’re really weird dude.
Abel: And you Carl? See anything you like?
Carl: To be honest, I’m not paying that much attention. (Starts looking around) Well, for the looks of it, you might be right. It does seem like a weak night… Oh, hello there…
Abel: What? Where? Who?
Carl: Nope, nevermind…
Abel: What? Why? Who?
Carl: Chick at that corner over there.
Abel: She seems hot, for a zombie.
Carl: Yeah, but look better.
Abel: What? What’s wrong?
Carl: Dude, she’s missing a boob!
Abel: Really? Oh, she is… interesting. Well, she is a zombie. You guys usually go around missing a few body parts.
Carl: Yeah, maybe a hand or an eye. But a freakin’ boob? That’s just sick.
Abel: What the hell is wrong with you? You’re missing a whole arm, for Christ sake! Are you kidding me?
Carl: An arm is an arm… how can you compare it to a boob?
Abel: You’re right. Having a pair of boobs is way more important and essential to everyday life than a pair of arms.
Carl: Very funny, you should do stand-up comedy. Now seriously, I just can’t deal with that. She could be missing all her limbs, but a boob? Come on…
Abel: Dude, if she had two boobs you couldn’t grab them at the same time… this way you make a perfect match in a boob grabbing point of view.
Carl (laughs): Ok, ok. You got me on that one! I’m even feeling a little guilty now. Hey Stan, what do you think? Should I hit up on little miss boobless over there?
Stan (states firmly): Your honor, I proclaim myself not guilty of these charges!
Abel: Great, just what I needed, a drunken lycanthrope…
Carl: Maybe they could hire him to be the mascot of this bar.
Abel: True… hey! Wait a second! You’re not getting out of this one just yet! Are you gonna hit on her or what?
Carl: Yeah, with a baseball bat… just kidding! I’ll go after I’m done with this beer, I can’t be completely sober if I wanna go through this. Cheers dude!
Abel: Cheers!